Monday, November 28, 2011

Thanksgiving Break....

....has pretty much went as fast as it came....and for that I am not thankful. I could defiantly use a few more days to myself....just to regroup and figure a few things out...but I suppose that time will come right after finals. Speaking of that forsaken "f" word....I'm pretty nervous going into finals. Mostly because my work schedule and personal schedule up to the big day are not conducive to studying....and for an anal retentive freak like me....I need to get organized!!! I just feel like there is so much to do...and so little time....

I work and have class 2 Tuesday's in a row...which basically means I'll be skipping Physiology so I can have some down time before work....which isn't ideal...but I had to make a few trades for my fav person ever in the whole wide world (bff Jamie) to visit Dec 8-11th! (I'm bursting at the seems with excitement and am planning like a crazy person to maximize our time together) And right after she leaves I have finals Tuesday and Friday...and then it's CHRISTMAS BREAK!!!

Christmas break will be spent getting ready for Christmas (duh!) and also figuring out what my next move is school wise. I have two options at this point. Stay at Iowa and finish my last prereq (Microbio) and then look into Mt. Mercy for next Fall....or look into Mt. Mercy now...rush around like a crazy person, take Microbio there in the Spring (along with some other classes they require) and start in their Nursing Program in the Fall (with hopes of being done in 2 years). Dispite my advisor's advice (which hasn't proved to get me anywhere thus far) I'm thinking I'm just going to take Microbio in the Spring here at Iowa while I continue to work...and make it my mission to get into Mt. Mercy in the Fall and take the fast track to my BSN. *fingers crossed* I don't get screwed somewhere in that mix and they decide to change up their Nursing Program too.........

Lot's to do....let the To Do Lists be made!

Monday, November 14, 2011

I carry your heart with me....

I would assume it safe to say that every nurse has that one patient that changes their life (and I'm pretty sure they have more than one as their career goes on) .......I said goodbye to my first one tonite. They say that we never know the lives that we touch....but I think the opposite is also true....as nurses...patients touch our lives too. As I sit here and think about it....he will forever be the reason I know I chose the right profession for me. Patient care is what I love doing....touching lives is what I love doing....and allowing special people to touch my life....is by far the best thing about my job.

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Nutrition Test #3

All you would ever want to know about.....Vitamins and Minerals....

So I've learned alot throughout this unit about where vitamins and minerals come from in our diets, how to maximize how your body uses vitamins and minerals, and what happens when you get too much or not enough vitamins and minerals in your diet.....here's my study guide....hope you enjoy....

Vitamins
There are 2 main types....Fat soluble (that dissolve in lipids) and Water soluble (that dissolve in water).
The Fat soluble Vitamins are---Vitamin A, D, E and K
The Water soluble Vitamins are--B Vitamins (Thiamin, Riboflavin, Niacin, Biotin, and Pantothenic Acid, B6, and B12), Folate and Vitamin C

Thiamin, Riboflavin and Niacin can be found in breads, cereals, rice and pasta.
Folate, and Vitamins A &C are found in fruits and veggies.
Vitamins A & D, Riboflavin, and B12 are found in dairy.
Niacin, B6 and B12 are found in proteins (i.e. meat, fish, poultry, beans and peas)
Vitamin E is found in fats and oils.

There are a few problems when it comes to retaining vitamins and they occur during food preparation-- Exposure to oxygen destroy Vitamins C & E (so it's important to store fruits and veggies in air tight containers), and is also why vitamins degrade in fruits and veggies after harvesting (so it's important to keep chilled and eat in season). Water also is a major problem when it comes to retaining vitamin content in your foods--especially water soluble vitams (they can leak out when foods are cooked/washed in water-- so wash before cutting, steam them instead of boiling). Heat also destroys vitamins so don't over cook your foods! Light destroys vitamins too (which is why milk and grains should be stored in opaque containers not glass!!)

Vitamin A: is important in vision, cell development, immune function, bone and body growth, reproduction, and maintaining healthy body linings. It comes in the form of Retinol, Retinal, and Retinoic acid. It can be found in sources such as Preformed active A (in liver, and vitamin A enriched milk), and Beta Carotene (bright orange and deep green veggies like carrots, sweet potatoes, pumpkin, broccoli, spinach, kale, and romaine lettuce). If you don't get enough you may develop night blindness which way turn into total blindness if a severe deficiency should occur. Also with deficiency of Vitamin A comes dry cracked skin, eroded body linings, and decreased immune function. A toxicity of Vitamin A occurs mostly when taking supplements, and the upper limit is reached from preformed active A. If there is too much Vitamin A in your diet however you could experience hair loss, stunted gorwth, and liver failure; however most only experience too much beta carotene which is seeen in the yellowing/discoloration of the skin (caused by the water soluble properities of beta carotene)

Vitamin D: is known as the "Sunshine Vitamin"-- it promotes bone mineralization and makes calcium available to your blood. (it's important for Vitamin D and Calcium to work together to promote bone health). Vitamin D also assists in immune function. It is when your skin is stimulated by the sun that Vitamin D is made available to your body. (This is especially an issue for states like Iowa that don't get exposed to enough sunlight during winter months---which is why it is important to supplement with diet rich in Vitamin D.) Vitamin D can be found in food sources such as egg yolks, liver, and enriched milk. A deficiency in Vitamin D in children can cause Rickets---and in adults Osteomalacia (soft porous bones that fracture easily). A toxicity occurs when Vitamin D is consumed at 5x the RDA and can be deadly.

Vitamin E: is an antioxidant. It protects cell membranes in body tissues and blood and participates in the immune system functions. (It is important to realize that antioxidants prevent free radicals, but an excess of antioxidants encourage the growth of free radicals---there have been recent studies seen in antioxidant supplements that increase the risk for prostate cancer in men). Vitamin E is wide spread in food (veggies and fruits) and therefore a deficiency is rare. If too much Vitamin E is in your diet it may cause GI upset and may interfere with prescription meds.

Vitamin K: is important for blood clotting and bone formation, and is made by bacteria in the digestive system. It can be found in green leafy veggies and cabbage. Deficiency of Vitamin K is rarely seen in adults, but children can be vulnerable due to a lack of bacteria in their intestinal tract (which is why infants are often given Vitamin K injections).

B Vitamins: are super important for energy metabolism. They are found in whole grains, breads, cereals, and enriched grains.

Folate: helps synthesize DNA needed for cell division in rapidly growing tissues, and is an essential nutrient for women of child-bearing age. Folate comes in green leafy veggies, cereals and grains (which are fortified to reduce a deficiency linked to spinal bifida). Deficiencies of Folate can cause anemia, suppressed immune function, and neural tube defects. High folate levels can mask vitamin B12 deficiencies causing nerve damage of B12 deficiency to continue.

Vitamin C: is important for production and maintenance of collagen. It enhances immune response and assists in iron absorption. Vitamin C (like Vitamin E) is an antioxidant. It is found in citrus fruits and juices, tomatoes, potatoes, strawberries, and Kiwi. 10mg per day is recommended to prevent Scurvy. There is a higher recommendation of 35 mg for smokers. Large doses of Vitamin C can cause cramping, nausea, and diarrhea, but because it is a water soluble vitamin a healthy individual would merely excrete excess in your urine.

Minerals
Iron: is a part of every living cell. Hemoglobin (found in red blood cells) carry oxygen from lungs to body tissues, and Myoglobin (found in muscle cells) carry and store oxygen for muscle contraction--depend on iorn. The RDA for iron is higher for women due to menstrual losses. There are 2 categories of sources for iron: heme (higher quality and better absorbed...found in animal flesh), and nonheme (plant and animal flesh. These two categories are best absorbed when paired together....for example meat, fish, or poultry paired with non heme source. Vitamin C, MFP, and tanic acid enhance absorption, and pyrates (grains) and calcium inhibit absorption of iron. There are 2 types of deficiencies: an iron deficiency (diminished iron stores where transport of iron decreases and hemoglobin production declines), and iron deficiency anemia. Toxic amounts of iron are difficult for your body to excrete and acute poisoning is fatal (which is why iron supplements for kids is very bad).

Selenium: assists Vitamin E as an antioxidant (meaning it has a sparing effect on vitamin E-- which means you use selenium first) It is found in meats and shellfish, vegetables and grains grown in selenium rich soil (which is why maintaining minerals in the soil is important!). A deficiency in the US is rare b/c of the soil being rich in selenium.

Iodine: plays a primary role in the synthesis of hormones released by the thyroid gland. Thyroid hormones regulate metabolic rate, body temp, reproduction, growth, and nerve and muscle formation. Iodine is plentiful in seafood, iodized salt and milk. A Goiter (or enlarged Thyroid) is common with Iodine deficiency. and a toxicity of Iodine can result in a depression of the thyroid gland.

Magnesium: is found in bones and is important for bone mineralization (bone building supplements are high in magnesium), necessary for release of energy, muscle relaxation, and holds calcium to tooth enamel (oral health). The best sources for Magnesium are unprocessed foods, legumes, nuts, seeds, green leafy veggies, and some dairy. A deficiency can be found in alcohol abuse and individuals with prolonged diarrhea and vomiting and results in effects of the central nervous system. A toxicity can occur with use of magnesium containing laxitives.

Calcium: plays an integral part of the structure of bones and teeth. Calcium is also found in your blood and plays an important role in nerve transmission, muscle contraction, blood clotting, and blood pressure regulation. If calcium in your blood is insufficient, then your body will draw calcium from your bones. Calcium can be found in milk, and milk products, calcium fortified foods (like soy), canned salmon/sardines *with bones*, broccoli, kale, turnip greens (which are well absorbed) and spinach (which is not well absorbed). A deficiency of Calcium causes osteoporosis, especially in post menopausal women. The upper limit for calcium is higher for adolescents and lower for adults but an excess is not generally toxic.

Phosphorus: part of bone and teeth structure and also plays a role in acid/base balance (component of phospholipids---think electrolytes). Sources for phosphorus include milk and milk products, animal proteins, and eggs. It is also found in carbonated beverages but can be hazardous (soda w/o milk takes calcium away from bones especially in children). Excess intakes may promote calcium losses in urine (meaning calcium is not being absorbed which negatively affects bone health).

Fluoride: is importaint in bone and oral health. Sources of fluoride can be found in fluoridated drinking water (most public drinking water...not found in well water). There has recently been a decline in flouride in drinking water though due to other sources (like toothpaste and mouthwash) adding flouride to their products. A deficiency leads to increased risk of dental decay; and a toxicity is called Fluorosis (a discoloration of the teeth) which occurs in developing teeth and is caused by too much fluoride in drinking water and toothpaste.

Copper: is a trace mineral that helps form hemoglobin and collagen and aids in energy release. It is found in protein foods, organ meats, legumes, nuts, and seeds. Excess zinc interferes with copper absorption and can cause a deficience that disturbs growth and metabolism.

Zinc: is used with proteins for enzymes (similar to vitamin a in function and similar to iorn in sources). Zinc is essential for vision, immune function, wound healing, taste perception, and normal growth. It can be found in protein sources where it is best absorbed and plant sources that aren't well absorbed. A deficiency of Zinc can cause growth retardation, digestive function, diarrhea, and impaired immune response. A toxicity of Zinc is not caused from food sources but can impair copper absorption.

Chrominum: is another trace mineral and it assists with carbohydrate metabolism and may decrease the risk of diabetes.

Sodium, Potassium, and Chloride: are electrolytes and are used to maintain fluid volume and acid/base balance. (sodium and chloride inside cells, potassium outside cells). These minerals are also vital to muscle contraction and heart beat. Sodium is found in table salt and processed foods, potassium is found in unprocessed foods. -- (as food is processed, sodium increases and potassium decreases). Electrolyte abnormalities are seen in eating disorders and thus a deficience of these minerals occurs with prolonged vomiting and diarrhea and can cause death. Dehydration produces severe loss of elecrtolytes. Excess electrolytes are excreted normially if active. Salt sensitive individuals however experience high blood pressure.

Bioavailabilty is an issue that is associated with the absorption of minerals.
*Calcium and phosphorous in milk inhibit iron absorption (may cause deficiency in kids--milk anemia)
                     --use iron rich snacks (beans and dried fruits) and limit milk to 3-4 cups a day
*Phytates and oxalates also hinder calcium absorption (which is a problem for vegans due to diets high in fiver and heavy in grains)
                   ---include non milk calcium sources (like almonds) or fortified foods in your diet




So there you have it folks...a mini review of all that I have to study for this test....also included is Fitness Nutrition, and all about Water! I should probably get on all that........Test Thursday----cross your fingers!!!!


Wednesday, October 26, 2011

So much to do....So little time....

....Story of my life....again it's my "day off" and I have about a million things on my to do list (granted a few of those million things are things that I just want to do for "me time"...but that's important too!!). I have another round of tests coming up next week...and while I'm doing ok in my classes this semester...just "ok" isn't good enough....I want to rock these classes!!! So if I can ace both of these tests (which won't be too hard if I can just get motivated to start studying now) I will have set myself up for success for the finals and all will be well! :)
I also have to go into work (I know ... on my day off...what tha what?!) for a 2 hour competency training session. Totally puts a cramp in my day off....but "reviewing" things we all need to know is definitely a good thing!

I also wanted to give you all some blog news......now that we've been here almost a whole year (and have gotten all of our awkward "firsts" out of the way) David and I decided we want to do a blog together about our adventures here!!!!   I'm so excited that he wants to do this and I'm so excited that after we're done will have all of our memories to read one day! I'm still going to be doing this blog for school/work purposes so keep following.....but add to your list our blog here .... it will be all things adventure/Iowa/Midwest living!

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Happy Endings

I'm exhausted today....I literally can't wake up...two tests yesterday...worked last night....and let me just say...that is enough to wipe out anyone! So glad I have the whole day to myself to recover with some R&R!! Enough with the bitching about my oh so awfully tiresome life .... I wanted to share this story that I saw on the Today Show...that has totally inspired me....


How freakin inspiring...I can't help but see all my patients faces in her story (what she calls her Heart Mate 2 I've mentioned before as our LVAD)....and it got me thinking about the feeling I get when we find out one of our patients gets a heart. It's pretty indescribable...awesome...humbling....and pretty much the best feeling you can get for a person...I mean what a gift right?! I know it must be hard for some people...to realize that someone has to die for you to live....and for some patients who are in and out of hospitals for months and months and maybe even years waiting....for someone to die....so you can get your life back....sounds kind of selfish...and yet these patients are so deserving of life....better than the one they have....it really pulls at your heart strings. But let me just say....even when you think of the awful side of transplants (the other person dying)....its so exhilarating to know that through death comes new life. And in a way...that person who died still gets to live on.
When a patient is notified that they're getting a heart....its kind of like Christmas...you don't really know what to expect going into the operating room (and God only knows what the patients feel....I would love for one of them to share that story with me one day because I know its got to feel pretty crazy)...but there are all kinds of nerves flying around....and theres all kinds of excitement....you hope for the best....and it's that moment in time where everyone just holds their breath...waits...and hopes ....for an outcome as fabulous and as heart warming as the Bionic Bride's story in the link above....
The gift of life....what a perfect gift....

Thursday, October 6, 2011

I've got a feelin....

I just wanted to take a moment to blog about how super excited I am....about life in general! I don't know if its the weather (I freakin love fall time...and the leaves around here are gorge!), or if it's just the fact that I'm finally starting to feel a little more normal these days....but either way....it feels great!

Let me back up .... last weekend I worked (and in case you didn't know from my 57839548932 facebook posts....I hate working weekends!) and as usual my worst fear came true....our census was low and I had to be floated to another floor (#1 reason I hate working weekends---it seems like lately every weekend has been super slow!). Floating to another floor is pretty much the worst for a newbie such as myself...you feel like an honest to goodness fish out of water....you don't know where anything is.....the staff doesn't know you and you don't know the staff...and its all around an awkward experience for everyone....but you try and do your best and swim like hell to just keep your head above water. This float experience was a little different...and I feel like I finally got the boost of confidence I needed to finally feel like I'm actually doing a good job. So I was on the cancer floor (which is right down the hall from our unit). The staff was super nice...the patients were super independent (and they didn't have to be hooked up to monitors...this alone was a huge weight lifted off my shoulders....dealing with telemetry can be such a pain in the butt sometimes!) and when I left the staff told me how great it was to have a float who actually knew how to do their job....and let me just tell you...that made my whole month!
I feel like the more I learn "on the job"....the more confident I feel..."on the job" ... and out in the real world. I feel like this job has totally given me the reassurance I've needed to go forward with my career choice. And i KNOW it's going to pay off when it comes time to take my boards and pass my nursing classes with flying colors! I love giving my friends advice from the info I know...and I love helping my family make better choices when it comes to their health...and its an awesome feeling to educate someone you love on how to care for themselves. I hate to say it....but lately I've had alot of these "if I knew then what I know now" moments....and I should have totally made this decision a long time ago.

I can't wait to keep learning....I can't wait to keep evolving...and I can't wait to develop into the rock start nurse that I know I'm meant to be....I'm so thankful I have so many "role models" to look up to at work....and I'm so thankful for all the experiences I've had so far...good and bad :)





Since October is Breast Cancer awareness month ... just thought I'd include this video.... Lexington medical center "pink glove dance"....voted for them and think its an awesome video...hope they win and get loads of money for cancer research!!!

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

My Diet Analysis

So I decided to post my Nutrition Diet Analysis project and my thoughts and such about it because I found the results shocking and it was very much an eye opener for me. As I've said before Nutrition has got to be my favorite class so far....going into it I thought I knew alot about eating healthy and nutrition in general....but as the semester progresses I'm finding I still have alot to learn. It amazes me how far a little education can get you....especially when it comes to nutrition and health. So I hope this offers a little education....and at the very least a little motivation to get healthy and start eating right.

First a little background info----We started out this semester talking about the 2010 Dietary Guidelines that the USDA and HHS puts out every 5 years....which is basically a very boring, superhero long document that provides a scientific based approach to our diets. There are all these surveys, evidence based reviews, etc. compiled and edited and put into this report that policy makers, health professionals, and nutrition educators use in diet planning, health promotion and education for the general public.
New this year, the Dietary Guidelines address obesity....basically finding that most of our calories come from grain based desserts, yeast breads, chicken and chicken dishes, sodas, and pizza. They also cover Foods and Components that need to be reduced in our diets (based on the emergence of chronic illnesses and things of that nature)...included in that category were Sodium (shockingly we're only supposed to be consuming less than 1500mg of sodium per day--reduced from the upper limit of 2300mg in previous years)...and as always fats (saturated fats, transfats, and cholesterol). Also new to the Dietary Guidelines this year is a suggestion to substitute seafood for meat/poultry once a week, and an addition for increased vegetarian options. (which I found to be particularly interesting based on my attempt at vegetarianism and my desire for "Meatless Mondays" in my house)
Finally, the Dietary Guidelines implemented a new "food guidance system"---replacing the old Food Pyramid with the new MyPlate. I think this new image totally rocks and makes it soooo much easier to actually see what you're supposed to be eating and the amounts you're supposed to be eating them in (so much so that you can click on the image and it will take you to the choosemyplate website and you can do all sorts of fun stuff to educate yourself on what you should be eating...enjoy...and you're welcome)



Enough of that---So for our Diet Analysis project we had to record what we ate for 3 days, input our info into this program (Diet Analysis Plus), and it then analyzed the nutritional values and such of what we ate and kicked out a whole bunch of information. 
*(the first number is how much I should be intaking, the second number--that is in bold---is what I am taking in, and in parenthesis is the percent of my diet that is being consumed by that component in reference to the first number that I should be taking in)*
Energy

Kilocalories 2113 kcal 1,210.68 kcal (57%)
Protein 40.64 g 61.17 g (151%)
Carbohydrate 236.0 - 341.0g 173.94 g
Fat, Total 46.0 - 81.0g 57.54 g
Saturated Fat < 21g 14.32 g (68%)
Monounsaturated Fat * 13.52 g
Polyunsaturated Fat * 6.69 g
Trans Fatty Acid * 0.04 g
Cholesterol < 300 mg 227.59 mg (76%)
Essential Fatty Acids
Omega-6 Linoleic 12g 2.85 g (24%)
Omega-3 Linolenic 1.1g 0.17 g (15%)
Carbohydrates
Dietary Fiber, Total 25g 10.06 g (40%)
Sugar, Total * 62.7 g
Other
Water 2.7 L 2.06 L (76%)
Alcohol * 0 g
Vitamins
Thiamin 1.1 mg 0.85 mg (77%)
Riboflavin 1.1 mg 1.18 mg (108%)
Niacin 14 mg 17.45 mg (125%)
Vitamin B6 1.3 mg 1.14 mg (87%)
Vitamin B12 2.4 μg 2.01 μg (84%)
Folate (DFE) 400 μg 163.02 μg (41%)
Vitamin C 75 mg 18.84 mg (25%)
Vitamin D (ug) 5 μg 1.64 μg (33%)
Vitamin A (RAE) 700 μg 376.02 μg (54%)
Vitamin A (IU) * 5,694.43 IU
alpha-tocopherol (Vit E) 15 mg 1.95 mg (13%)
Minerals
Calcium 1000 mg 552.55 mg (55%)
Iron 18 mg 9.14 mg (51%)
Magnesium 310 mg 118.22 mg (38%)
Potassium 4700 mg 1,261.33 mg (27%)
Zinc 8 mg 3.45 mg (43%)
Sodium 1500 mg 1,934.38 mg (129%)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Now applying those numbers above to MyPlate--- this is what my intake should look like/does look like:

                       Goal             Actual        % Goal
Grains         7.0 oz. eq.    2.6 oz. eq.       37.3%
Vegetables 3.0 cup eq.   0.8 cup eq.      26.8%
Fruits          2.0 cup eq.   0.3 cup eq.      16.7%    
Dairy         3.0 cup eq.   1 cup eq.          33.2% 
Protein       6.0 oz. eq.    4.1 oz. eq.        68.2%
Empty       290.0 307.8                           106.1%
Calories     

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I know to the naked eye this could all look like a bunch of mumbo jumbo....but if you really read it....it speaks volumes! Before this little project....I would have considered myself a healthy person. I cook at home v.s. eating out....I try and incorporate fruits and veggies into my diet....I drink water over soda......but when you lay it all out and look at the numbers....I'm apparently living in a fantasy land. (and while this could be discouraging....I'm finding quite the opposite...it is definitely an eye opener and very motivational) I eat alot of empty calories, I need more fruits and veggies in my life, and with all the water I drink...I'm still not getting "enough."
So I'm going to try and incorporate more "healthy" meals into my life. By planning my meals around a vegetable option vs. a meat option. By eating dried fruits instead of those empty calorie snack packs. I'm going to try to buy more fruits and veggies to have available and ready to eat (Does this mean I'm not going to eat chips, and chicken wings, and unhealthy things from time to time....no) But I hope by adding more healthy things to my fridge and cabinets....it will keep me from reaching for those unhealthy things. My goal is to make small changes that will hopefully add up to bigger results.
I'm also in need of some serious exercise (not to lose weight per say but to be stronger...in mind, body, and spirit). I have vowed to walk the longer routes instead of taking short cuts (this includes parking farther away from the door just to take a few extra steps)....I now take the stairs at work vs. elevators....and I'm hoping that by making simple changes it will allow me to also make more difficult changes.

My goal in all of this: To encourage the ones I love to make changes with me! (Because I mean lets face it my life would be pretty tough without you guys and I'm planning on being around for awhile)
 

 

Fat

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Testing round 1...

...crossing my fingers for good out comes!!
First tests of the semester are always tough....you're trying to figure out how professors make out their tests....you're not sure how to study exactly....and you really want to start strong (nothing sucks more than starting out with a super huge uphill battle ahead of you!)
Studying--I focused mostly on physiology....and so of course I feel like I did better on that test....it turns out nutrition is going to be tougher than I thought! The professor asked way more "application" type questions (I hate those...it seems like I always over think them). I'm just hoping for a solid starting point *fingers crossed*

Work has been kicking my butt (and that is an understatement). Ever since our "summer 10" people left its been short staffed central. I worked this past weekend (with one of the most incompetent Na's we have)...and with lots of heavy care patients....it was a MISERABLE weekend.( I'm hoping this weekend is easier....because I have a hard couple of weeks ahead and it would be nice to start out the marathon work/school stretch with some easiness) Unfortunately I'm on morning shift--which I hate-- and there is a home football game (and in case you didn't kno...the stadium is literally right across the street from the hospital....which should make for some interesting parking/traffic situations). Needless to say I'm nervous thinking about the work load...and the traffic. I'm also worried about my work/school schedule for the next few weeks....twice on the schedule I'm working on a day I also have class...and I'm totally not looking forward to going to class all morning and then going directly to work all night...I don't know where I'm going to find the strength to get through these tough days....but *fingers crossed* I find it somewhere inside of me...I have a feeling I'm going to have to dig deep.

On another note....it's fall here in Iowa! We had our first frost last night.......I wore my first hoodie of the season today.....and it feels fabulous! We've had window's open and I've planted some mums!!! While I'm not looking forward to winter....I'm definitely enjoying FALL! Hoping to go pick apples at a local orchard (yes we have those here...kinda weird) this weekend after work....and the 24th is Kalona's Fall Festival that we're planning on going to! Lots to look forward to!


Things on my To Do List:
  • Diet Analysis for Nutrition (I hope to blog about once the project is done....it's been very interesting/informing and I can't wait to get the restlts!)
  • Organizing my craft projects for winter!! (I want to have a "stock" of things to keep me busy during these cold winter months ahead!)

Monday, August 29, 2011

Back to the Books....but first a quick update.....

I feel like I've finally recovered from the madness of our marathon 16 hour road trip home and my first week of classes....and now that I feel like I'm back on dry land with two solid feet underneath me....let me catch you up on the past few weeks.....

First the fun stuff---our trip home was FAB! The longer I'm away from the south....the more I realize how much of a part of me being from the south is (if that makes any sense what-so-ever)--- The weirdest part about our first trip home was actually being able to hear a southern accent. I don't even think I have words to explain how I felt at that exact moment when I could actually "hear" what I've sounded like my whole life....but it was a true marvel to say the least. It was GREAT to see everyone (even David's friends---they truly made me appreciate the drama free life we now lead---bliss). I think its safe to say we made every effort to see every person who wanted to hang out....we squeezed every single spare minute out of the time we were home...and for that I'm truly grateful (and sleep deprived--but it was all worth it).

My fav part of the trip---seeing these ladies! And I truly saved the best for last....they were a wonderful close to the perfect trip home....I love ya'll...and your baybays!



There's no rest for the weary!!! Classes started the day after we got back....and to say that I felt like I was being thrown into a cold pool against my will is the understatement of the century! (never again will I plan a trip with no day of rest in between!)
My schedule is pretty sweet I'm not going to lie---I only have classes on Tuesday's and Thursday's---Nutrition from 9:30-10:45 and Physiology from 12:30-1:45---and I think I'm going to thoroughly enjoy both. (the only thing that's got me a little worried is my work schedule thrown into the mix of that....but I'm going to try and take it one day at a time)

I'm most excited about Nutrition. Mostly because everyone I've talked to has said that has been their fav class they have to take for nursing....and also because my professor seems to know her stuff. She doesn't read from power points....she actually TEACHES (which that in and of itself is exciting...I hate when professors get lazy and post their slides online and just read off of them during class without actually teaching a thing...uuuuggghh biggest pet peeve!). We have 2 projects where we get to do a Diet Analysis and I'm really hoping the things I learn from this will get me back into eating healthy again. I feel like being knowledgeable when it comes to nutrition will help me feel more in control when it comes to my diet and the things I choose to eat.
I feel like ever since nutrition and eating healthy has been on the agenda of most media hype these days you can feel like you already know it all.....but I've already learned so much that I didn't know already...I just know this is going to be an interesting semester!


Physiology on the other hand will probably be the class I struggle with. Not so much because of the material (b/c most of it has already been a review of organic and bio chem)---but because the professor is so freakin flighty!! She was 10 minutes late on the first day of class....and when she presents her material (that she sometimes straight up reads off the PowerPoint slide) she does very distracting things (like clapping and other ADD tendencies that annoy me and make me lose all focus). Hopefully I can keep my motivation to build off the things I learned in Anatomy and continue to build my foundation.
Staying organized and on top of things are my two biggest challenges I want to over come this semester....and mentally making myself do things I don't want to do will hopefully push me ahead....

I already feel like I'm back on track from the tragedy that was last semester. Making a B in Anatomy this summer....working and gaining confidence in myself through my job....and finally adjusting to life here in this crazy state will hopefully yield positive results when December and the end of the semester rolls around....but only time will tell.........



Monday, August 15, 2011

I feel blessed....

As I sit here and think about what this summer has brought me...I can't help but feel completely, honest to goodness, 100% BLESSED! I've gotten closer to my fellow NA's (even facebook friends...that's a huge step for me as you all well know)....and I've finally started to feel connected here...like it almost could be home for a little while....and that my friends feels good.

Speaking of home....the other reason I feel so blessed.....my family and friends....the loves of my life....I'll be seeing them all to close out my summer with a bang....and I don't think I could BE any more excited. It has been entirely too long! I have THE most amazing family and the most amazing friends anyone could ever ask for....my core group has been apart of my life for as long as I can remember....and I can only hope we continue to remain a constant in each others lives. For the past 20+ years I have been through it all with these girls...they've been with me through the good times and the bad....we've had our fights and disagreements....we've gone days, weeks, months and some cases (sadly) years without talking...and somehow we've all still managed to stay close when it really mattered. But that's the thing about best friends...you don't have to talk everyday...you don't have to be apart of the mundane everyday life to be considered someone special to someone else....when we get together its like we never spent a day apart. I don't think there are many people in this world that can say they have friends like mine....and for that alone I feel the most blessed of all. They really are the loves of my life!


I know this trip is probably going to be bittersweet...and there will be tears of happiness and probably at the end tears of sadness .... there are going to be feelings of not wanting to come back here...and I will probably be homesick for the next few months after this trip....or who knows....I may feel so happy when I leave it will have been exactly what I needed to know that what I'm doing now is the best decision of my life....only time will tell.....and I can't wait....

Thursday, August 4, 2011

My Ah-ha Moment...

It's official....I can spend an entire day doing nothing but reading craft blogs and getting ideas of a million things I want to do from Pinterest. After being superhero unproductive on one of the last few days off I have in my 2 week streak...I started feeling really unsettled...and I couldn't put my finger on why....and that's when...sitting on the couch...watching Love in the Wild (yea yea we all know I have a reality tv habit...its horrible)...I had my Ah-ha Moment!

It has been 156 days since David and I have moved into our apartment...and its been 8 months since I've moved to Iowa....and no matter how much I try and decorate our apartment....and no matter how much time I spend with my family doing awesomely fun things...seeing things I've never seen before and doing things I've never done before.....it doesn't feel like home and I can't seem to find my happy place.
---- So that was really hard for me to admit. But I miss SC...I miss how our house felt like a real home...I miss my friends...I miss normalcy....I miss everything that was my old life. And I know that when we go back there in 2 weeks for a visit (which I'm soo excited about) I know its going to be bittersweet......I know I have to prepare myself for it to not feel like home.....and I have to prepare myself to face the fact that once again I'm in an "in between." (which I haven't felt since the first time I went to college and came home--to my childhood home--and it didn't feel anything like the home I had remembered)
I'm suspended in an extended state of existence where everything I knew has become unknown...and everything I have yet to learn needs desperately to become real. I NEED to make Iowa feel like my home. period. I need to get over the fact that I'm like a fish out of water here.....put my big girl panties on....and deal with it. Our move here has become a part of our story now.....at this point there's really no turning back...and instead of holding on to a life that no longer exists a time zone away....its time for me to start making our life here...right now....even if "here" is the middle of a corn field. If someone would have told me a year ago that I would be in Iowa.....going to nursing school working my butt off to follow a dream....I would have never believed them. But isn't that what makes an adventure exciting....the fact that you get to do something you never would have dreamed of?? And the icing on the cake is that I get to share it with the most amazing man and wonderful family a girl could ask for.

So I'm making a conscious effort to let go of my life as I knew it....and while I'm taking the good things with me...I'm leaving everything I knew behind to start clean here. Because to be honest...I never really gave myself (or this "new home") a chance to begin with.

In this transition period (that has lasted entirely too long) I've learned alot about myself....some good things and some things I desperately need to change.
  1. My work ethic---I need to grow up when it comes to working. I don't live a privileged life...David is not loaded and I'm going to have to work in life...its time for me to get over the fact that I would love to stay at home and read craft blogs and have arts and crafts time and live a frivolous carefree life...and accept my own reality (and we're not talking reality tv here). My job is not hard...it challenges me to do things I wouldn't normally do...and THAT is what I need to become the person I ultimately want to be .... in my career and in life. No one ever became great by being lazy.
  2. My fears control my actions--I'm terrified of doing things wrong. Its like I'm 5 years old or something and I'm going to "get in trouble." I need to get over that too. I'm an adult....and while there are consequences to my mistakes I should have the confidence in myself to learn from them....instead of cowering in the corner like I'm incompetent. Mistakes are like learning speed bumps....they're not end all be all cliffs. I want to make it my mission to learn everything I can by doing...asking...and not being afraid that not knowing might make me look stupid. Avoiding things I'm afraid of will only hold me back in the end. "We gain strength, courage, and confidence by each experience in which we stop to look fear in the face and do that which we think we cannot."
  3. My control issues---They're out of control really...I need to get a grip. I can't control every situation...everything that everyone says...or everything that happens. I need to learn to let go....enjoy the moments as they happen...just as they are....for whatever they are. Fretting about the "future" (however near or far) has stressed me out for long enough. It is the #1 cause for any anxiety I feel and I need to let it go. "What you fight you strengthen and what resists persists"
  4. Going the extra mile---I come out of the gates on fire...but I burn out quick. I wish I could hold on to that fire...and take it with me further....going the extra mile and keeping up speed even when I feel like I'm running out of gas. This applies very much so when it comes to school work. Sometimes it seems like in the beginning everyone is so jacked up and ready to go...and by the time mid terms roll around its gone on long enough. I want to find a way to motivate myself when I feel like I'm burning out...so I can finish strong...on any project I start.
  5. Staying present---Finding my happy place. Its so easy for me to feel unsettled inside...and I tend to try and fill that empty unsettled feeling with material things....or with food...or with attitude and bitterness (mostly aimed at the people I love)....and I wish I could just find out how to center myself....find my happy place and regain that feeling of contentment within.

I hope that I can keep evolving....into the me that makes me a better me...because I feel as though there is a finish line in sight of the me that I ultimately want to be ... and I'm ready to get there and reclaim my happiness!

Monday, August 1, 2011

My two weeks off....

I don't know why but I feel like I'm a winner when I score 2 weeks off from work just randomly because that's how the schedule worked out...and let me just tell you...I've been a busy little crafting bee!

First (the project that took the longest) was my first quilt! I know it makes me sound like an old lady...but it was a really fun experience....and very rewarding....and now I have a new appreciation for old ladies who make these FABULOUS works of art!---I started by going to my FAV antique and quilt shop in Amana (Fern Hill) and choosing my wonderful fabrics....I cut them into TONS of strips (its amazing how accurate your measurements and cutting skills must be to make everything uniform and square...it was probably the hardest part!)
Here are my strips placed together on our "design wall"....the next step was sewing ALL the strips together to make squares.....

....and once your squares are sewn together you have your quilt top....

After you have your quilt top you have to attach your batting (that makes it squishy and warm) and your backing (which is just an insanely large piece of fabric)---and then you have to select the quilting method you're going to use....since we don't have a long arm (a machine that makes all the crazy designs you see on most quilts) and I didn't feel like hand stitching any type of design (due to my lack of time---b/c classes are starting soon!) I decided to tie my quilt together......

After I tied the quilt it was time to sew on the binding!!! This was a two step process...first machine sewing it around the entire quilt....

...And then hand stitching it to the back for a nice crisp finished look! It turned out amazing...and I already can't wait to start my next one!!! I decided to "steal" my mom's idea --- every small town we visit in Iowa we always find the fabric store....so the idea is to select fabrics that represent the town we're in...and ultimately sew squares that show our representation from that town and by the time we leave here we'll have our own sort of "memory" quilt---
I've already started my first "memory" quilt block on our trip to Kalona (an Amish community about 20 minutes from here--and quite possibly the quilt capital of the world...read here...)--- Carol and Don (it was so nice to have family visit!) stopped in for a few days last week and we got to have more Iowa Adventures!!! Driving through the Amish town is so awesome...to see such a simple form of living is VERY inspiring! (I would love to be able to live so simply...but I'm afraid my high maintence ways would never survive!) They have the absolute most GEORGOUS flower gardens EVER...so on our stop in at the fabric store I picked out some very cute "vintage-ish" flowery fabrics... and decided to sew a block in the very fitting "amish basket" pattern ---see pattern here

...And here's how my block turned out....
 I can't wait to see this project develop...and I can't wait to have such an awesome finished project to remind me of our time here! I also can't wait to learn more about quilting....it truly is an amazing art form!

P.S. also while in Kalona we went to a few antique stores...and I must say the Pink Bagonia has got to be a close rival to my fav antique store Fern Hill---And I also must add that antiquing is my fav thing to do with the women of my family (esp. Aunt Judy, Carol, and my mother)--they have taught me so much about the things you see in antique stores (that you think are crap) and they also have taught me how to spot diamonds in the rough (we found sooo many good things in the Pink Bagonia...the best find of the day was spotted by yours truly...a VERY antique Singer sewing machine bottom (refurbished and ready for our craft room--for only $55!--in case you didn't know...thats a steal of a deal!)  We have plans on making a table top for our sewing machines in our infamous craft room!


So while I was working on my quilt project I also finished a few other crafts.....


I knitted a "cozy" for my Nook...and I LOVE it...also learned how to do the cable knit stitch which DEF classes up any project!

My mom and I also made these super cute ice cream cone pin cushions!!!
...We also made super cute thread catcher bags for our sewing machine stations from fabric we also found in Kalona---The print is of bolts of fabric, quilter ladies with lots of cute signage (like "will brake for quilt shops"...."shop hop next week"..."i love quilts"...etc.)---so cute we framed the extra fabric for our craft room decor!

And last but not least I finished a cute camera strap that I hope to make for a few friends!!!
Looking forward to returning home in a few weeks and seeing all my lovelies!!!! Can't wait to finish out the summer strong!! Classes will be starting soon (Aug 22nd) and I'm ready to enjoy these last few weeks before its back to the grind! 

Thanks for reading...this ended up being an insanely long crafting update! :)

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

SOS!!!!

I swear I have the worst sinus issues in the world (thanks to my lovely dad for that one!)....I feel like complete poopie!!!! Sinus drainage + sore throat = feelings of poop! I had to Sign Off Sick today from work ... because I highly doubt patients want me dripping snot/sneezing/coughing on them all night long...and I physically doubt my abilities to even do any sort of physical activity without being extremely exhausted within 5 min.  Its kind of weird.....I used to love calling in sick to work and getting a free day off....but now that I love what I'm doing....I really hate missing out on all the fun!!! So being the super nerd that I am...I was checking my hospital email and I just HAD to share this exciting email link with you!!!!


Working on a cardiac unit I get to see all kinds of awesome technology that basically keeps people alive and keeps hearts beating while people wait for hearts to become available (also DEFINITELY changed my mind about organ donation)....from LVADs to actual heart transplants and how peoples lives have been changed after receiving a heart....and the newest addition to our collection is a TAH...and let me just say its awesome and definitely a life changing experience.

I would be lying if I said I've never doubted my move to Iowa...and never questioned my ability/confidence in doing my job....because it has definitely been constant a struggle!  I've doubted my ability and skills, and I've even wondered what even brought me here and if it was a right choice to make....should I quit? should I just give up and just get a normal job??  But when I read emails with stories like the TAH .... it all of a sudden becomes so painstakingly clear. I'm here to learn....I'm here to gain skills that were not available to me back home. And while its often a challenge for me here....I know in the end...when I'm done with school and I'm finally a nurse....I'll be one of the best. Because while these experiences are challenging...they are also inspiring...and the more knowledge I gain here...the more and more confident I become. With confidence comes clarity...and with clarity comes never ending opportunities.

Monday, July 18, 2011

Redecoration Station

I've been thinking a lot lately about the feeling of home....and what made our home back in SC our home....and after all those depressing thoughts...I decided this apartment may not ever really feel like home. And while I may or my not ever be ok with that fact...I decided I could atleast give it my best shot in making it look like it atleast feels like home. So after purchasing a few decorative items...and rearranging a few things...I've given it an honest effort....and this is what I've come up with......

The living room view from our front door...I <3 framed photo collages!! The large Charleston print is a gift from David's sister Laurie and her husband Brian (they were our gift swap peeps from the Domis family Christmas gift exchange---little did they know we were going to need some reminders of "home") and the smaller pictures around it are my photos from our last trip to chucktown before we left....I eventually want to add more photos to the collage as we visit home more and more!!!

Over the fireplace I added a few canvases that I covered with fabric. And I found some blue dyed potpouri to fill my pink tray with (it sat empty for awhile and I was bound and determined to find something interesting to do with it!) I originally had all three canvases (the other you'll see over the cabnets in the kitchen later) but I decided to break up the blue with a framed print I found in Hobby Lobby with a "motivational" quote.


 When you look to the right of the living room you'll see our lovely kitchen! Its rather large (wish we had a kitchen table to fill up some space!). But I tried to put some decorations on top of the cabnets--not sure if I'm in love but I'll keep them up there until I decided/find something else. And I also hung a print over the sink to fill in a huge gap--I had some wall "stickers" that were flowerish (you'll see I transferred them to the bathroom in a later photo) that I wasn't too thrilled about. Also got a rug for the floor and some blue towels to continue my "blue color theme"

Since our old colors were red/black/grey (which didn't transfer over very well) our old utensil holder was red = did not match the blue theme...so I found an old vase (of my million vases I had in a box in the closet) and painted some flowers/swirls for a new and improved matching utensil holder! yay for craft projects!!!





Another view of the kitchen ~~~~~>

The guest bedroom was another room that was KILLING me! The layout of the room is rather awkward with our bulky furniture (as are all of our rooms b/c we came from a house with big rooms where they fit and moved them into tiny rooms where arrangements are difficult!)...so I decided I would make this our "Iowa" / "Hawkeye" inspired room---hence the black and yellow. Again covering canvases with fabric. Hopefully we'll eventually find something to put over the bed...but until then I'm satisfied.




(The guest bathroom and our bedroom I didn't touch with any redecoration's...b/c I felt like the decorating I did when we moved in will suffice for now).




The hallway (between our bedroom and the guest bedroom and the 2 bathrooms) is my fav...due in large part to this shelf with my absoulte FAVORITE pictures on it!! This has been up for awhile now...but I figured I would include it on our little redecoration highlights photo tour! :)


And finally "my" bathroom (since David and I use seperate bathrooms now---don't ask me why but its kind of nice). It was very plain and since plain bothers me...I decided to add a nice flowery framed print...and since I'm all about using stuff I already have (b/c I'm a broke student again) I used some flowery wall "stickers" that I had in the kitchen to help fill in the space between the flower framed print and the other wall space between the shower and mirror over the sink. I also added a basket on the back of the toilet to help fill in some space too!








So I'm hoping with these changes...and maybe even a few more to come later...this apartment will start feeling a little more like "home." Here's to hoping!!! :)

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Goals

It has been a busy last few weeks around here....and now that I have a few minutes to sit down and think about things....I have decided I want to make a list of goals I want to accomplish....short term goals...and long term goals.
It seems like ever since I've moved...in all the chaos that has been my life as of late...I've lost alot of organization and grips on reality....I've taken some dives off the deep end...and I've even managed to swim back to shore (for the most part)....and since things are slowly coming around...I figured I'd accomplish some organization with hopes of getting things even more "back on track."

Goal #1: I want to make Iowa more of a home--- After taking a few road trips/vacations away from this temporary home....it has got me thinking alot about a sense of home....or more importantly a lack there of. Home--something I haven't felt since I've  moved away from "home" (the only home I've ever known). Home sickness---a feeling that I feel has been holding me back since I've been here.
I think its officially time to make this more of a home....and hopefully by accomplishing this I will be able to make more out of my time here. Instead of rushing my time here I want to focus more on making the most of my time here. This may be the hardest goal I set for myself.......with my biggest fear of "adopting a midwest attitude" and losing my southern roots.....it will definately be a challenge to hold on to things I hold dear...and let go of things that may or may not matter....


Goal #2: Becoming more proactive when it comes to making decisions on where I want to take my nursing education---I'm sick of advisors telling me what they think I should or shouldn't do when it comes to decisions in my education. Sure that's their job....but its also their job to help me accomplish my goals in the manner that I want to accomplish them. So despite my advisors "advice" ... I'm determined more than ever to pave my own way when it comes to my education. From now on I will make decisions on what I think is best for me....since apparently my education thus far has become so far from "traditional" its not even funny---So shit or get off the pot people who don't want to accept challenging students.....if you aren't willing to help me...I will find someone who is...and if there is no one out there to help me the way I need to be helped....I'll just have to do it myself. I'm determined now more than ever to take my education choices into my own hands....
Wasting time, becoming lazy/passive, and not stepping up to the plate are sneaking into my lifestyle waaaay more than they should!

Goal #3: Get organized!!! --- I never feel like I have enough time in the day to accomplish the things I want to accomplish.....and the things that get left undone at the end of the day eat away at me like you would not believe!!!! I feel like writing things down....and checking things off my list every day will help me see the things I am actually getting done....and maybe even that the things that don't get done aren't that big of a deal....

Goal #4: Get fit---believe it or not....I miss bootcamp!! I miss eating healthy and I miss working out!! When I look back my life as it was.... the time I was eating so healthy and staying so active was the time I really did feel better about alot of things. So even though I work such crazy hours....and with school right around the corner again...I do want to make more of an effort to get back to my healthy ways and cut the crap!

Goal #5: Be a better friend and lover----Sometimes I get so caught up in myself I forget about the people I love!!! David has been sooo freakin amazing throughout this whole entire process it has made me love him even more than I did before.....and I feel like sometimes he doesn't even know that. Even when I neglect our relationship...he's still a freaking saint of a boyfriend. We have our issues to work out (as do all relationships) but we'll get there....and we're always evolving....another thing I love so much about us as a couple and him as my partner. He's always going to be there and for that I am truly grateful...there are no words for how blessed I am in the relationship department....and to be a better girlfriend should always be on my list of things to accomplish!
My friends have been soo freakin unbelievable throughout this too that I never even tell them how much I love and miss them and how much they help me get through sucky times! A better friend should always be on my list too!! I do love you guys...and you have no IDEA how much I miss each and every one of you more so now than ever!!!





So here's to a start...here's to accomplishing some heart felt goals....CHEERS!