Songs in My Head Today.....



SOS!!!!

I swear I have the worst sinus issues in the world (thanks to my lovely dad for that one!)....I feel like complete poopie!!!! Sinus drainage + sore throat = feelings of poop! I had to Sign Off Sick today from work ... because I highly doubt patients want me dripping snot/sneezing/coughing on them all night long...and I physically doubt my abilities to even do any sort of physical activity without being extremely exhausted within 5 min.  Its kind of weird.....I used to love calling in sick to work and getting a free day off....but now that I love what I'm doing....I really hate missing out on all the fun!!! So being the super nerd that I am...I was checking my hospital email and I just HAD to share this exciting email link with you!!!!

Iowa's First Total Artificial Heart!!! (be sure and watch the video!)

Working on a cardiac unit I get to see all kinds of awesome technology that basically keeps people alive and keeps hearts beating while people wait for hearts to become available (also DEFINITELY changed my mind about organ donation)....from LVADs to actual heart transplants and how peoples lives have been changed after receiving a heart....and the newest addition to our collection is a TAH...and let me just say its awesome and definitely a life changing experience.

I would be lying if I said I've never doubted my move to Iowa...and never questioned my ability/confidence in doing my job....because it has definitely been constant a struggle!  I've doubted my ability and skills, and I've even wondered what even brought me here and if it was a right choice to make....should I quit? should I just give up and just get a normal job??  But when I read emails with stories like the TAH .... it all of a sudden becomes so painstakingly clear. I'm here to learn....I'm here to gain skills that were not available to me back home. And while its often a challenge for me here....I know in the end...when I'm done with school and I'm finally a nurse....I'll be one of the best. Because while these experiences are challenging...they are also inspiring...and the more knowledge I gain here...the more and more confident I become. With confidence comes clarity...and with clarity comes never ending opportunities.

Redecoration Station

I've been thinking a lot lately about the feeling of home....and what made our home back in SC our home....and after all those depressing thoughts...I decided this apartment may not ever really feel like home. And while I may or my not ever be ok with that fact...I decided I could atleast give it my best shot in making it look like it atleast feels like home. So after purchasing a few decorative items...and rearranging a few things...I've given it an honest effort....and this is what I've come up with......

The living room view from our front door...I <3 framed photo collages!! The large Charleston print is a gift from David's sister Laurie and her husband Brian (they were our gift swap peeps from the Domis family Christmas gift exchange---little did they know we were going to need some reminders of "home") and the smaller pictures around it are my photos from our last trip to chucktown before we left....I eventually want to add more photos to the collage as we visit home more and more!!!

Over the fireplace I added a few canvases that I covered with fabric. And I found some blue dyed potpouri to fill my pink tray with (it sat empty for awhile and I was bound and determined to find something interesting to do with it!) I originally had all three canvases (the other you'll see over the cabnets in the kitchen later) but I decided to break up the blue with a framed print I found in Hobby Lobby with a "motivational" quote.

 When you look to the right of the living room you'll see our lovely kitchen! Its rather large (wish we had a kitchen table to fill up some space!). But I tried to put some decorations on top of the cabnets--not sure if I'm in love but I'll keep them up there until I decided/find something else. And I also hung a print over the sink to fill in a huge gap--I had some wall "stickers" that were flowerish (you'll see I transferred them to the bathroom in a later photo) that I wasn't too thrilled about. Also got a rug for the floor and some blue towels to continue my "blue color theme"

Since our old colors were red/black/grey (which didn't transfer over very well) our old utensil holder was red = did not match the blue theme...so I found an old vase (of my million vases I had in a box in the closet) and painted some flowers/swirls for a new and improved matching utensil holder! yay for craft projects!!!



Another view of the kitchen ~~~~~>

The guest bedroom was another room that was KILLING me! The layout of the room is rather awkward with our bulky furniture (as are all of our rooms b/c we came from a house with big rooms where they fit and moved them into tiny rooms where arrangements are difficult!)...so I decided I would make this our "Iowa" / "Hawkeye" inspired room---hence the black and yellow. Again covering canvases with fabric. Hopefully we'll eventually find something to put over the bed...but until then I'm satisfied.

(The guest bathroom and our bedroom I didn't touch with any redecoration's...b/c I felt like the decorating I did when we moved in will suffice for now).

The hallway (between our bedroom and the guest bedroom and the 2 bathrooms) is my fav...due in large part to this shelf with my absoulte FAVORITE pictures on it!! This has been up for awhile now...but I figured I would include it on our little redecoration highlights photo tour! :)

And finally "my" bathroom (since David and I use seperate bathrooms now---don't ask me why but its kind of nice). It was very plain and since plain bothers me...I decided to add a nice flowery framed print...and since I'm all about using stuff I already have (b/c I'm a broke student again) I used some flowery wall "stickers" that I had in the kitchen to help fill in the space between the flower framed print and the other wall space between the shower and mirror over the sink. I also added a basket on the back of the toilet to help fill in some space too!

So I'm hoping with these changes...and maybe even a few more to come later...this apartment will start feeling a little more like "home." Here's to hoping!!! :)

Goals

It has been a busy last few weeks around here....and now that I have a few minutes to sit down and think about things....I have decided I want to make a list of goals I want to accomplish....short term goals...and long term goals.
It seems like ever since I've moved...in all the chaos that has been my life as of late...I've lost alot of organization and grips on reality....I've taken some dives off the deep end...and I've even managed to swim back to shore (for the most part)....and since things are slowly coming around...I figured I'd accomplish some organization with hopes of getting things even more "back on track."

Goal #1: I want to make Iowa more of a home--- After taking a few road trips/vacations away from this temporary home....it has got me thinking alot about a sense of home....or more importantly a lack there of. Home--something I haven't felt since I've  moved away from "home" (the only home I've ever known). Home sickness---a feeling that I feel has been holding me back since I've been here.
I think its officially time to make this more of a home....and hopefully by accomplishing this I will be able to make more out of my time here. Instead of rushing my time here I want to focus more on making the most of my time here. This may be the hardest goal I set for myself.......with my biggest fear of "adopting a midwest attitude" and losing my southern roots.....it will definately be a challenge to hold on to things I hold dear...and let go of things that may or may not matter....


Goal #2: Becoming more proactive when it comes to making decisions on where I want to take my nursing education---I'm sick of advisors telling me what they think I should or shouldn't do when it comes to decisions in my education. Sure that's their job....but its also their job to help me accomplish my goals in the manner that I want to accomplish them. So despite my advisors "advice" ... I'm determined more than ever to pave my own way when it comes to my education. From now on I will make decisions on what I think is best for me....since apparently my education thus far has become so far from "traditional" its not even funny---So shit or get off the pot people who don't want to accept challenging students.....if you aren't willing to help me...I will find someone who is...and if there is no one out there to help me the way I need to be helped....I'll just have to do it myself. I'm determined now more than ever to take my education choices into my own hands....
Wasting time, becoming lazy/passive, and not stepping up to the plate are sneaking into my lifestyle waaaay more than they should!

Goal #3: Get organized!!! --- I never feel like I have enough time in the day to accomplish the things I want to accomplish.....and the things that get left undone at the end of the day eat away at me like you would not believe!!!! I feel like writing things down....and checking things off my list every day will help me see the things I am actually getting done....and maybe even that the things that don't get done aren't that big of a deal....

Goal #4: Get fit---believe it or not....I miss bootcamp!! I miss eating healthy and I miss working out!! When I look back my life as it was.... the time I was eating so healthy and staying so active was the time I really did feel better about alot of things. So even though I work such crazy hours....and with school right around the corner again...I do want to make more of an effort to get back to my healthy ways and cut the crap!

Goal #5: Be a better friend and lover----Sometimes I get so caught up in myself I forget about the people I love!!! David has been sooo freakin amazing throughout this whole entire process it has made me love him even more than I did before.....and I feel like sometimes he doesn't even know that. Even when I neglect our relationship...he's still a freaking saint of a boyfriend. We have our issues to work out (as do all relationships) but we'll get there....and we're always evolving....another thing I love so much about us as a couple and him as my partner. He's always going to be there and for that I am truly grateful...there are no words for how blessed I am in the relationship department....and to be a better girlfriend should always be on my list of things to accomplish!
My friends have been soo freakin unbelievable throughout this too that I never even tell them how much I love and miss them and how much they help me get through sucky times! A better friend should always be on my list too!! I do love you guys...and you have no IDEA how much I miss each and every one of you more so now than ever!!!

So here's to a start...here's to accomplishing some heart felt goals....CHEERS!

Dream land.....

Last night I had the CRAZIEST dream....and it ended with me blogging about my dream....and for some reason I felt that for good juju....I should probably blog about it...

So I was in some pool (which is weird b/c they don't have many pools around here) just swimmin around....and I felt like somebody was swimming underneath my legs (which was also weird b/c there was nobody in the pool but me)---insert freaky lighting and weird vibes here--- at the time I felt someone swimming underneath me I saw bubbles coming to the surface and this body came up face down RIGHT in my face....and as I pulled the back of the head/hair to see the face it was this weird looking dude that appeared to be VERY intoxicated to the point of almost not breathing but his eyes were open (which also gave me super freaky vibes). And in the midst of being INSANELY freaked out....my "nursing" instinct kicked in. Without skipping a beat I pulled him up on the side of the pool (that instantly became the pool that my mom works -- at the rec center) and I told someone to call 911 (b/c apparently all of a sudden lifeguards--who did nothing might I add--and other people just appeared). I cut off his shirt (which I'm still not sure why he was wearing a shirt in a pool b/c he wasn't fat--he was pretty buff) whipped out my stethoscope and sphygmomanometer...took a set of vitals...and when the ambulance arrived gave a full report to the paramedics.

What struck me after I woke up from the dream was how insanely calm I was...inspite of all the weird freakiness that was all up in the dream. And it kind of got me excited....I'm taking the dream as a sign that I'm getting closer to being fully confident in emergency situations.....and that my friends....is insanely exciting to me!