Struggling

I'm struggling.

Its the end of the semester...my finals are next Friday...and I have zero motivation to do ANY thing at all what so ever. I have no clue how I'm doing in my chemistry class....and to be quite honest I could care less. I have never felt this way before in my whole entire career as a student .... ever....and its uber depressing. I seriously want to quit and just start over next semester and forget any of this semester ever happened.

Let me explain....chemistry...this class is graded on a curve (which I've never really experienced before but is apparently what professors do when they can't teach and shouldn't even be able to call themselves teachers)...the class average is a 47 going into the final exam....less than 5% of the class has made above a passing grade the whole entire semester (and those are probably the people who are taking this class for the 2nd or even 3rd time).I can't wrap my brain around how below an F is average and even acceptable....but apparently thats how this class has always been. This is beyond baffling to me. It is OBVIOUS this professor is teaching absolutely nothing....how can he still have a job? I don't know what to do other than quit. And this is totally breaking my heart. I don't like quiting....I don't like feeling defeated....and as much as I don't want to admit it.... this is EXACTLY how I feel. All I have to go on is a hope and a prayer that if I just finish I'll come out with atleast a C....and thats probably more like a miracle.

I'm beginning to think it was a mistake for me to even take classes this semester....I should have just moved here....got a job...adjusted...and then started taking classes again....as I sit alone with tears in my eyes all I can do is wonder....if this was all just a huge mistake....if I am even cut out to finish.....or if am I strong enough to push through.......