Back to the Books....but first a quick update.....

I feel like I've finally recovered from the madness of our marathon 16 hour road trip home and my first week of classes....and now that I feel like I'm back on dry land with two solid feet underneath me....let me catch you up on the past few weeks.....

First the fun stuff---our trip home was FAB! The longer I'm away from the south....the more I realize how much of a part of me being from the south is (if that makes any sense what-so-ever)--- The weirdest part about our first trip home was actually being able to hear a southern accent. I don't even think I have words to explain how I felt at that exact moment when I could actually "hear" what I've sounded like my whole life....but it was a true marvel to say the least. It was GREAT to see everyone (even David's friends---they truly made me appreciate the drama free life we now lead---bliss). I think its safe to say we made every effort to see every person who wanted to hang out....we squeezed every single spare minute out of the time we were home...and for that I'm truly grateful (and sleep deprived--but it was all worth it).

My fav part of the trip---seeing these ladies! And I truly saved the best for last....they were a wonderful close to the perfect trip home....I love ya'll...and your baybays!

There's no rest for the weary!!! Classes started the day after we got back....and to say that I felt like I was being thrown into a cold pool against my will is the understatement of the century! (never again will I plan a trip with no day of rest in between!)

My schedule is pretty sweet I'm not going to lie---I only have classes on Tuesday's and Thursday's---Nutrition from 9:30-10:45 and Physiology from 12:30-1:45---and I think I'm going to thoroughly enjoy both. (the only thing that's got me a little worried is my work schedule thrown into the mix of that....but I'm going to try and take it one day at a time)

I'm most excited about Nutrition. Mostly because everyone I've talked to has said that has been their fav class they have to take for nursing....and also because my professor seems to know her stuff. She doesn't read from power points....she actually TEACHES (which that in and of itself is exciting...I hate when professors get lazy and post their slides online and just read off of them during class without actually teaching a thing...uuuuggghh biggest pet peeve!). We have 2 projects where we get to do a Diet Analysis and I'm really hoping the things I learn from this will get me back into eating healthy again. I feel like being knowledgeable when it comes to nutrition will help me feel more in control when it comes to my diet and the things I choose to eat.

I feel like ever since nutrition and eating healthy has been on the agenda of most media hype these days you can feel like you already know it all.....but I've already learned so much that I didn't know already...I just know this is going to be an interesting semester!

Physiology on the other hand will probably be the class I struggle with. Not so much because of the material (b/c most of it has already been a review of organic and bio chem)---but because the professor is so freakin flighty!! She was 10 minutes late on the first day of class....and when she presents her material (that she sometimes straight up reads off the PowerPoint slide) she does very distracting things (like clapping and other ADD tendencies that annoy me and make me lose all focus). Hopefully I can keep my motivation to build off the things I learned in Anatomy and continue to build my foundation.

Staying organized and on top of things are my two biggest challenges I want to over come this semester....and mentally making myself do things I don't want to do will hopefully push me ahead....

I already feel like I'm back on track from the tragedy that was last semester. Making a B in Anatomy this summer....working and gaining confidence in myself through my job....and finally adjusting to life here in this crazy state will hopefully yield positive results when December and the end of the semester rolls around....but only time will tell.........



I feel blessed....

As I sit here and think about what this summer has brought me...I can't help but feel completely, honest to goodness, 100% BLESSED! I've gotten closer to my fellow NA's (even facebook friends...that's a huge step for me as you all well know)....and I've finally started to feel connected here...like it almost could be home for a little while....and that my friends feels good.

Speaking of home....the other reason I feel so blessed.....my family and friends....the loves of my life....I'll be seeing them all to close out my summer with a bang....and I don't think I could BE any more excited. It has been entirely too long! I have THE most amazing family and the most amazing friends anyone could ever ask for....my core group has been apart of my life for as long as I can remember....and I can only hope we continue to remain a constant in each others lives. For the past 20+ years I have been through it all with these girls...they've been with me through the good times and the bad....we've had our fights and disagreements....we've gone days, weeks, months and some cases (sadly) years without talking...and somehow we've all still managed to stay close when it really mattered. But that's the thing about best friends...you don't have to talk everyday...you don't have to be apart of the mundane everyday life to be considered someone special to someone else....when we get together its like we never spent a day apart. I don't think there are many people in this world that can say they have friends like mine....and for that alone I feel the most blessed of all. They really are the loves of my life!

I know this trip is probably going to be bittersweet...and there will be tears of happiness and probably at the end tears of sadness .... there are going to be feelings of not wanting to come back here...and I will probably be homesick for the next few months after this trip....or who knows....I may feel so happy when I leave it will have been exactly what I needed to know that what I'm doing now is the best decision of my life....only time will tell.....and I can't wait....

My Ah-ha Moment...

It's official....I can spend an entire day doing nothing but reading craft blogs and getting ideas of a million things I want to do from Pinterest. After being superhero unproductive on one of the last few days off I have in my 2 week streak...I started feeling really unsettled...and I couldn't put my finger on why....and that's when...sitting on the couch...watching Love in the Wild (yea yea we all know I have a reality tv habit...its horrible)...I had my Ah-ha Moment!

It has been 156 days since David and I have moved into our apartment...and its been 8 months since I've moved to Iowa....and no matter how much I try and decorate our apartment....and no matter how much time I spend with my family doing awesomely fun things...seeing things I've never seen before and doing things I've never done before.....it doesn't feel like home and I can't seem to find my happy place.
---- So that was really hard for me to admit. But I miss SC...I miss how our house felt like a real home...I miss my friends...I miss normalcy....I miss everything that was my old life. And I know that when we go back there in 2 weeks for a visit (which I'm soo excited about) I know its going to be bittersweet......I know I have to prepare myself for it to not feel like home.....and I have to prepare myself to face the fact that once again I'm in an "in between." (which I haven't felt since the first time I went to college and came home--to my childhood home--and it didn't feel anything like the home I had remembered)
I'm suspended in an extended state of existence where everything I knew has become unknown...and everything I have yet to learn needs desperately to become real. I NEED to make Iowa feel like my home. period. I need to get over the fact that I'm like a fish out of water here.....put my big girl panties on....and deal with it. Our move here has become a part of our story now.....at this point there's really no turning back...and instead of holding on to a life that no longer exists a time zone away....its time for me to start making our life here...right now....even if "here" is the middle of a corn field. If someone would have told me a year ago that I would be in Iowa.....going to nursing school working my butt off to follow a dream....I would have never believed them. But isn't that what makes an adventure exciting....the fact that you get to do something you never would have dreamed of?? And the icing on the cake is that I get to share it with the most amazing man and wonderful family a girl could ask for.

So I'm making a conscious effort to let go of my life as I knew it....and while I'm taking the good things with me...I'm leaving everything I knew behind to start clean here. Because to be honest...I never really gave myself (or this "new home") a chance to begin with.

In this transition period (that has lasted entirely too long) I've learned alot about myself....some good things and some things I desperately need to change.

1. My work ethic---I need to grow up when it comes to working. I don't live a privileged life...David is not loaded and I'm going to have to work in life...its time for me to get over the fact that I would love to stay at home and read craft blogs and have arts and crafts time and live a frivolous carefree life...and accept my own reality (and we're not talking reality tv here). My job is not hard...it challenges me to do things I wouldn't normally do...and THAT is what I need to become the person I ultimately want to be .... in my career and in life. No one ever became great by being lazy.
2. My fears control my actions--I'm terrified of doing things wrong. Its like I'm 5 years old or something and I'm going to "get in trouble." I need to get over that too. I'm an adult....and while there are consequences to my mistakes I should have the confidence in myself to learn from them....instead of cowering in the corner like I'm incompetent. Mistakes are like learning speed bumps....they're not end all be all cliffs. I want to make it my mission to learn everything I can by doing...asking...and not being afraid that not knowing might make me look stupid. Avoiding things I'm afraid of will only hold me back in the end. "We gain strength, courage, and confidence by each experience in which we stop to look fear in the face and do that which we think we cannot."
3. My control issues---They're out of control really...I need to get a grip. I can't control every situation...everything that everyone says...or everything that happens. I need to learn to let go....enjoy the moments as they happen...just as they are....for whatever they are. Fretting about the "future" (however near or far) has stressed me out for long enough. It is the #1 cause for any anxiety I feel and I need to let it go. "What you fight you strengthen and what resists persists"
4. Going the extra mile---I come out of the gates on fire...but I burn out quick. I wish I could hold on to that fire...and take it with me further....going the extra mile and keeping up speed even when I feel like I'm running out of gas. This applies very much so when it comes to school work. Sometimes it seems like in the beginning everyone is so jacked up and ready to go...and by the time mid terms roll around its gone on long enough. I want to find a way to motivate myself when I feel like I'm burning out...so I can finish strong...on any project I start.
5. Staying present---Finding my happy place. Its so easy for me to feel unsettled inside...and I tend to try and fill that empty unsettled feeling with material things....or with food...or with attitude and bitterness (mostly aimed at the people I love)....and I wish I could just find out how to center myself....find my happy place and regain that feeling of contentment within.

I hope that I can keep evolving....into the me that makes me a better me...because I feel as though there is a finish line in sight of the me that I ultimately want to be ... and I'm ready to get there and reclaim my happiness!

My two weeks off....

I don't know why but I feel like I'm a winner when I score 2 weeks off from work just randomly because that's how the schedule worked out...and let me just tell you...I've been a busy little crafting bee!

First (the project that took the longest) was my first quilt! I know it makes me sound like an old lady...but it was a really fun experience....and very rewarding....and now I have a new appreciation for old ladies who make these FABULOUS works of art!---I started by going to my FAV antique and quilt shop in Amana (Fern Hill) and choosing my wonderful fabrics....I cut them into TONS of strips (its amazing how accurate your measurements and cutting skills must be to make everything uniform and square...it was probably the hardest part!)

Here are my strips placed together on our "design wall"....the next step was sewing ALL the strips together to make squares.....

....and once your squares are sewn together you have your quilt top....

After you have your quilt top you have to attach your batting (that makes it squishy and warm) and your backing (which is just an insanely large piece of fabric)---and then you have to select the quilting method you're going to use....since we don't have a long arm (a machine that makes all the crazy designs you see on most quilts) and I didn't feel like hand stitching any type of design (due to my lack of time---b/c classes are starting soon!) I decided to tie my quilt together......

After I tied the quilt it was time to sew on the binding!!! This was a two step process...first machine sewing it around the entire quilt....

...And then hand stitching it to the back for a nice crisp finished look! It turned out amazing...and I already can't wait to start my next one!!! I decided to "steal" my mom's idea --- every small town we visit in Iowa we always find the fabric store....so the idea is to select fabrics that represent the town we're in...and ultimately sew squares that show our representation from that town and by the time we leave here we'll have our own sort of "memory" quilt---

I've already started my first "memory" quilt block on our trip to Kalona (an Amish community about 20 minutes from here--and quite possibly the quilt capital of the world...read here...)--- Carol and Don (it was so nice to have family visit!) stopped in for a few days last week and we got to have more Iowa Adventures!!! Driving through the Amish town is so awesome...to see such a simple form of living is VERY inspiring! (I would love to be able to live so simply...but I'm afraid my high maintence ways would never survive!) They have the absolute most GEORGOUS flower gardens EVER...so on our stop in at the fabric store I picked out some very cute "vintage-ish" flowery fabrics... and decided to sew a block in the very fitting "amish basket" pattern ---see pattern here

...And here's how my block turned out....

 I can't wait to see this project develop...and I can't wait to have such an awesome finished project to remind me of our time here! I also can't wait to learn more about quilting....it truly is an amazing art form!

P.S. also while in Kalona we went to a few antique stores...and I must say the Pink Bagonia has got to be a close rival to my fav antique store Fern Hill---And I also must add that antiquing is my fav thing to do with the women of my family (esp. Aunt Judy, Carol, and my mother)--they have taught me so much about the things you see in antique stores (that you think are crap) and they also have taught me how to spot diamonds in the rough (we found sooo many good things in the Pink Bagonia...the best find of the day was spotted by yours truly...a VERY antique Singer sewing machine bottom (refurbished and ready for our craft room--for only $55!--in case you didn't know...thats a steal of a deal!)  We have plans on making a table top for our sewing machines in our infamous craft room!

So while I was working on my quilt project I also finished a few other crafts.....

I knitted a "cozy" for my Nook...and I LOVE it...also learned how to do the cable knit stitch which DEF classes up any project!

My mom and I also made these super cute ice cream cone pin cushions!!!

...We also made super cute thread catcher bags for our sewing machine stations from fabric we also found in Kalona---The print is of bolts of fabric, quilter ladies with lots of cute signage (like "will brake for quilt shops"...."shop hop next week"..."i love quilts"...etc.)---so cute we framed the extra fabric for our craft room decor!

And last but not least I finished a cute camera strap that I hope to make for a few friends!!!

Looking forward to returning home in a few weeks and seeing all my lovelies!!!! Can't wait to finish out the summer strong!! Classes will be starting soon (Aug 22nd) and I'm ready to enjoy these last few weeks before its back to the grind! 

Thanks for reading...this ended up being an insanely long crafting update! :)