Disclaimer: If you are sensitive to things I say and find yourself offended often in my company, save yourself the internal conflict that is sure to follow and stop reading now...
If you look up family in the dictionary, you will find atleast 20 different definitions...ranging from traditional terms of the word, to the social constructs that make up families today. To me, this means that family can range anywhere from a circle of friends, to a group of coworkers, to parents and their children and beyond....
So if you really think about it....these definitions of families can be applied to all relationships in general....friends, boyfriends/girlfriends, engaged and married couples, etc. .... meaning the terms in which we define our closest significant others is a very large grey area to those on the outside looking in....and yet we all judge... we all compare...and we all relate what is personal to us.. in terms of others and the ways they define their relationships. I have to ask why?? To make ourselves upset that we are the lone rangers holding out in relationships that are "non traditional" .... when in actuality we're completely happy with things just as they are??? To pressure ourselves and the ones we love to conform to what society believes to be the "traditional" way of doing things....To basically upset ourselves for no reason at all what so ever....
As much as I dream of the perfect wedding, the perfect marrage, with my perfect husband, in our perfect house and our perfect family....I know that the only thing thats perfect is imperfection....The greatest things that happen to all of us are the very things that we forget to plan for. As much as it would kill my mother...I don't care if I ever get married....I know that I'm in a committed relationship, with a man who loves me for me (opinions and all, for better or worse), and I know that we're going to be together forever....signing a piece of paper sealed by some judge that doesn't know me from adam won't solidify it any more than me telling him I love him with all of my heart every day of our lives. I don't care if we "live in sin" and have 2.5 perfect little children out of "wedlock" ....and as much as it bothers some people...they need to know that it doesn't bother me...and in the relationship between David and I...we're the only ones that matter. People get divorced just as easily as they get married....and people walk out on their commitments just as easily as they make them. Sometimes its best to be happy...on your own terms...than it is to be unhappy conforming to the beliefs of others.
So I think we all need to take a moment to reflect on the judgements that we make of others....we need to remember that others and the choices they make in their relationships don't determine the terms of our relationships, and their opinions shouldn't affect the decisions we make in our own lives. Live the way YOU want to....be happy with the decisions and choices that YOU make...not the choices that others try and make for you....because at the end of the day...you make the bed you lay in......
So if you really think about it....these definitions of families can be applied to all relationships in general....friends, boyfriends/girlfriends, engaged and married couples, etc. .... meaning the terms in which we define our closest significant others is a very large grey area to those on the outside looking in....and yet we all judge... we all compare...and we all relate what is personal to us.. in terms of others and the ways they define their relationships. I have to ask why?? To make ourselves upset that we are the lone rangers holding out in relationships that are "non traditional" .... when in actuality we're completely happy with things just as they are??? To pressure ourselves and the ones we love to conform to what society believes to be the "traditional" way of doing things....To basically upset ourselves for no reason at all what so ever....
As much as I dream of the perfect wedding, the perfect marrage, with my perfect husband, in our perfect house and our perfect family....I know that the only thing thats perfect is imperfection....The greatest things that happen to all of us are the very things that we forget to plan for. As much as it would kill my mother...I don't care if I ever get married....I know that I'm in a committed relationship, with a man who loves me for me (opinions and all, for better or worse), and I know that we're going to be together forever....signing a piece of paper sealed by some judge that doesn't know me from adam won't solidify it any more than me telling him I love him with all of my heart every day of our lives. I don't care if we "live in sin" and have 2.5 perfect little children out of "wedlock" ....and as much as it bothers some people...they need to know that it doesn't bother me...and in the relationship between David and I...we're the only ones that matter. People get divorced just as easily as they get married....and people walk out on their commitments just as easily as they make them. Sometimes its best to be happy...on your own terms...than it is to be unhappy conforming to the beliefs of others.
So I think we all need to take a moment to reflect on the judgements that we make of others....we need to remember that others and the choices they make in their relationships don't determine the terms of our relationships, and their opinions shouldn't affect the decisions we make in our own lives. Live the way YOU want to....be happy with the decisions and choices that YOU make...not the choices that others try and make for you....because at the end of the day...you make the bed you lay in......
1 comment:
Aw I certainly hope this post doesn't have anything to do with your twomom who got engaged two days before you wrote this!!! :( I hope I didn't say anything to upset you! I love you!
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